Bath time at its finest

I had eye surgery on Monday feb 2 to replace my cornea. I really thought i would have an eye patch, check on it Tuesday night and be back to work badaboom on Wednesday.
Ha.
I can't bend over
can lift anything
couldn't get out of bed
couldn't walk around
couldn't do chores

My family had to run itself.

 Tuesday I did feel pretty well, cause you know hydrocodone will do that for ya. We shopped and wasted time until my appt. I felt pretty drained by noon, but I figured it was the not-so-great hotel bed.

Wednesday I slept 17 hours, cause again drugs are good.

Friday I had a pain in my eye like an eyelash and sand. I stayed in bed with the curtains drawn not moving my eyes. Every time I moved them that sharp pain would come back. I had to turn my whole head, no neck moving, to see. When I forgot to do that, it was a hot flash of pain. I had to fully repatch my eye, double up on my rejection drops and find a place in bed that wasn't too high or too low for my eye to rest and heal.

I think by Saturday hubby had had enough of me and went to watch our HS kids wrestle. While he was gone all day, my kids ran a muck. W and K2 left the house and played instead of doing any of their chores. I couldn't get up to stop it. K1 watched tv with the sound on low so I wouldn't hear her. When it was time to get in the bath, it took an hour to get them to do it.

Baby K didn't want to. Much screaming and pushing happened. I could hear some of it, but it wasn't until baby K's high pitched scream floated nonstop through the house, that I realized it wasn't good.

I marched down to their bathroom, what I saw was 2 big kids trying to put a little kid in the tub with all her clothes still on. She was holding onto the curtains, hair, and tile for dear life. It seemed like they were trying to wash a feral cat.

"What the heck is going on in here!!!???" TWo faces looked up at me with the Oh Crap expression, and started backing away; I tried to remain calm but was blowing it.

"She won't take a bath" they claimed in unison.

"So it was a good idea to put her in with clothes?" I growled. "GET OUT OF HERE!"
I banished them to their rooms-they scurried away from the dragon.

 I tried to take control of the situation. But I couldn't see to help her undo her pants.
I was hurting my eye.
 I managed to get her shirts off and stomped out.

Dad made great timing by walking in the door as all Heck was breaking loose. His face was startled at the noise, and the witch I must have looked like, I was glad that he saw what leaving us along would do. I must have looked LOVELY
 with an eye patched up, stumbling around,  hair a mess( cause they don't let you wash your hair for a week!)

 I turned to him and said "YOU need to take care of that" while pointing down the hall. I said something else like "see its hard to deal with this stuff , huh?" or some other stupid no one has things under control, see I shouldn't have had the surgery lament.

Monday I had another appointment. The awful pain was gone and my eye felt pretty good even if I felt like a vampire with the light after being in the dark since Wednesday.

I don't have laundry still, house is a mess, but we a trucking on and this Saturday, we are getting busy!, at least, I am making the kids work hard cause I still can't bend over or lift. Maybe this will teach them to be independent?

Friday Eye day

Didn't sleep very well 1. Scott had to work 2. slept too much yesterday 3. body is hurting from trying to sleep only on my back 4. my left leg is getting a pinched nerve again-what happens when I lie down too much.

Up at 530 patch off at 6, found glasses. Feels even better than yesterday. Odd and fluttery, light weight and twitchy a bit, Still marginally swollen and droopy. Under my eye isn't sore, still don't dare pick at my lashes to clean them. Have lightly lightly touched my eye where it itches from lashes, crust, or band-aid as bothered it. Gets better each day to do that. I've noticed that I forget to blink my left eye and then I get a sharp pain for a few seconds when I do remember.

Found my glasses and am wearing them. It doesn't help the vision in my left eye. As I sit in a darker room and look out of the left lens, it seems like I just have the wrong prescription in. When I move the glass on and off my eye, it might be better without the glasses. Huh, maybe.  Sight doesn't seem foggy.

Hip hurts and leg burns now. Really need some movement in my day, so I re-read post op directives to see if I am missing any opportunity to move around. Seems like I shouldn't do anything. I still think walking around would be good. Tried to stretch in bed. ugghh, dying to work out 2 months before I can lift anything more than 20 lbs.
system is off from not enough water or movement. I don't feel hungry ever.

The shock of my surgery is wearing off the kids and they are finding new ways to take advantage of me not being able to hunt for them. Wes just runs off without check in, Kelsey plays really quietly with her barbies so I don't wake up or think about where she is. Kennedy sits and watches tv with the sound low. They don't' come in to say good night and I have forgotten to check on them till past their bed time.

Scott said last night that I should get sick more often. He was talking about the food, which is funny. We had noodles last night without meat and he doesn't usually like that. He said the sauce made up for it. Think he is still struggling how to manage the extra chores though. I was looking  at the laundry pile that was quite large wondering how  he  was going to get it done.

Post op Thursday

Last night was a low. Felt stupid for getting this surgery as my eyesight is so bad. No matter what post op papers they give you, it doesn't prepare you for the actual results. I think they do that on purpose. My problem with livable before so I could ignore what was deteriorating.
Seriously thought I would bounce right back since I am super healthy.

Today I walked 5 minutes every hour. Whoot what an accomplishment since just the week before I was deadlifting 125 and squatting 90, benching 70. I think I walked .25 each 5 minutes so I hit 3 miles. Had to take 2 naps, I was exhausted.

Don't know if I will be able to go back to work on Tuesday or not. I have chosen not to take pain meds in the day as it makes me feel so good that I over do things. I did so much Tuesday. I take them at night before I go to bed.

This week I can't sleep on my left side; my side of choice. The wonderful doc *scarcasm* snorted at me when I told him I didn't know how people controlled what they did in their sleep. He was no help. He said use pillows in his snort.

My eye starts to strain around noon today, not really hurt, but just my face hurts from doing what I have to do to keep it healthy. I squint a lot. The vision today is like look through the plastic you would use to keep heat in during the winter. I have kept it covered quite a bit and have put my drops in as I should. The eye is not red today nor do the drops seem to hurt. When my face, brow or lid is itchy, I can feather touch it  today to make it stop.
Am so grateful for dinner being brought in as my family can't do anything for themselves. They left out all the lunch stuff , wet laundry in the washer, and dirt all over the floor today. No one has taken a shower and tries to get out of chores since I don't check on them or leave my room much. I keep it darker in there as my eye gets weary, the light hurts it more.

Someone called yesterday and asked how I was going to do work; seemed like their negativity was aimed and winding me up. It didn't. I did think about what to do; do I wear my glasses, sunglasses or a bandage (hah). Do I take naps during my prep?

Seeing the sunrise

Twice this week I have seen a beautiful sunrise on the way to school. The first time I saw it I was blown away at its beauty.Summer is coming. Swimming, feeling the heat of the sun over my closed eyes.

AHHH Heaven.

 Overwhelming feelings of gratitude filled my heart and soul at getting the privilege to see it. Wishing I could be in the moment longer, I had to quickly dry up my spilled tears to face the minions of the day who either wouldn't have understood or been confused at the emotion. I was lucky enough to see another yesterday.

I am having eye surgery on Monday.

My life will be very very painful for about 3 months, hard for 6 months and difficult for 18 months. I close read the surgery information just yesterday. Grateful that I waited. The lifestyle changes are whelming but won't say overwhelming. Tempted-sorely tempted, I would say that this is the hardest thing I have ever done, if I had never had 2-3 other things happen in my life-getting left at the "alter" is pretty tough -life changing. Maybe those have prepared me. Yet, I don't feel strong enough to make the life changes. Really, I don't feel that my family is strong enough to face the changes.,

I am actually not freaking out over the surgery. Don' t like it, don't like it one bit. But the panic is about what happens after. When the fam faces all the trouble of this. Right now, it ins't worth it. I am not sure the surgery will fix what is wrong. Not sure I will ever be 100% again. 1 in 50 patients reject the transplant.

 AM I #50?

With the ability to limp along now in hand, I am not sure trading it for 2 in the bush so to speak will be worth it at all. The lack of control over my life and independence for possibly 18 months is looming like a dark night.

Scott keeps saying it will be ok. I sure hope that sunrise will be there on Wednesday-and all the Wednesday's after that.

on the drive to prescott with NPR

I drove behind scott to prescott this weekend. 5 hours of am I going to make it. Music or food was not going to cut it for me .  I found me some NPR. Kennedy was dying to turn it but my fascination in their topic kept me away at 10 on the road. I am getting old.

Rules make the world go around.... until they wrap around your neck

Sport physicals, beginning of the new school year, clothes, supplies, and classroom rules. All are a must in one shape or another. When I first started teaching I had 18 rules and procedures. I wanted students to be prepared for events in the classroom. You know what? they don't care, you know what else? I can't keep up with the way utopia should be.
Life is messy
And so I really want to pare down to one rule. Don't do stuff that bugs me.
At the end of last year I told the kids flat out, if you can do it and get away with it, how will I know. You know you, do what you need to do to keep out of trouble. Either dont' do it, or get better at getting caught.

Does this mean I don't believe in honor? or doing things the right way? or that there is no black and white.
NO,I just don't like stupid rules for stupid reasons and enforce them on people who ought and do know better. And if you do, have a logical good reason for it.

I ran into this today. Sports physicals are good for 3 years at the jr high. No reason why, just cause that is the way it is. but if you got one last spring you have to get another now if you crossed over from 6th to 7th grade. It defeats the purpose of a sports physical especially when you child's body changes so so much in these years.
I would have been happy with a variety of reasons why they made it this way,

but the one that got me on a rampage is Just because that is the way it is....

burnt up.

No view, a back hoe and a Chinease elm

I plan and work on a bit the elms that grow in the ditch outside my drive. I wasn't sure whose job it was to take care of the ditches and since the city didn't I figured it was my job. That I was not allowed to use a chain saw and scott didn't have backhoe time to do. It was getting so bad that I was afraid that I would hit Lauie when she came back from feeding in the morning. She is the only person who comes back into town in the morning.
I chided myself each time I pulled out of the drive way, that is a lot of chiding.
I praised the city, did a happy dance and made them cookies when they took out the elms along my ditch. It took 1/4 of a day to do what I couldn't keep up doing. 5 guys are better than one lady, a boy,  and a dog.

my ditches are clear. I just wish they would have gone crazy at my house
 too.

who ever was the pioneer that thought the chinese elm would be a great tree to plan here needs to be kicked in the teeth.