Stand up and Testify.

I am not a person who intimately will tell others how I really feel.

Anonymously, that is another story. I don't know who is really out there reading ( ok, except a select few, but I don't have to see you faces when you grimace or laugh at me)

Therefore, I don't get up and express myself in public and if I do, I usually walk away thinking "stupid, stupid, stupid. I should not have said that," with a sick feeling of fear in the pit of my stomach.

However, this morning I was called, possessed, whatever

I had mulled around thoughts and feelings. Somewhere in my mind I knew I had to bear my testimony in church. This was problematic for me because for the last 5 years or more I have had 2 issues with doing so

1.I don't want to say something that will embarass Scott AND
2. I don't think I have anything to add to the testimony I gave years ago declaring my beliefs.

I envisioned my mouth opening and shutting like a dying, gaping fish seeking air OR Muttering on in unintelligible babbling that made no sense to anyone, but was a painful experience for all of us to bear through.

Not wanting either experience.

But, I did it anyway.

So here publicly, for everyone to privately judge, ridicule, or agree with at his or her own leisure I will give my beliefs.

Of course I believe the Book of Mormon to be another witness and testaments of Christ, His work and divinity.

I believe we are lead by a wise, experienced man who's only goal in life is to lead our church as the Lord would if He were here on this earth to do so.

I know that he answers prayers, gives guidance and direction for my life. I know he knows how much I want to get out of debt and how much I struggle with it personally and as a family. I don't know why we have had our share of hardships these last few months, but I know that those burdens have been light. I can thank Him for sharing our burdens.
I know he has blessed my marriage; Scott and I get along better now than we have ever.

I am grateful for all those around me both of my own faith and of other faiths who gave and will give service- they are such an example to me.

I will start out my 09 with these beliefs guiding me to be a better, faster, stronger, thinner, well read, writing person