Missionary Mania

Our stake is on the missionary push. As a teacher, you wouldn't think I was shy, but inside, I am. It seems also impossible that I could be because I am loud and opinionated. But, see the things I am loud about, are not things about ME, the me that keeps private about the serious, personal stuff.

ONe of my personal things is my belief-I really feel like we are pushing our religion on everyone around: members, inactive, non, the dog the cat, whoever we can lay hands on. I have this mental picture of big smiles, off beat outfits, singing, and clasped hands. Maybe a cross between sound of music and the brady bunch band.

If we're happy, we should want to share what makes up happy with the world. However, being from the mission field, I know that people are in different progress stages and the big push seems like we are discrediting all the good others do in the the name of Christ because it isn't also done in the name of TCoJCoLDS.  I felel we are discrediting other's journey because they are not currently including LDS as part of their journey. Who am I to say that the ministry of sister Teresa was not quite what the lord wanted just because she was not LDS. I know she was amazing, but there are everyday people who are help so many out there and they are not LDS. I don't know how to reconcile myself with  y perception of the hardcore push with my belief that good people are guided were they are supposed to be LDS or not.
I see others and I think that I am not on fire for God, nor do I feel sad for others who don't believe the same way I do.
I feel guilty, shame, anger, and I am tired of the push. Even when I hear those who give the non aggressive method of missionary work, I still feel I am not doing enough. I am thinking about not going to stake conference because my view of it will be a 2 day training of how to be a better member missionary. I am so not up for that, yet I don't want to stay away. I am not about to go rouge, my core testimony is not weak.
Yesterday in class one of my LDS students was complaining that she was asked to do yet another thing for stake conference and she was feeling overwhelmed. I got really made for her. Didn't those who asked her know she was all readying speaking, her personal life was a mess, and she has a lot going on at school? I wondered why they would push her to the edge like that. It seemed so inconsiderate. She wouldn't say no, because she was taught not to. This got me to thinking that girls don't have enough practice saying no, and that gets them in trouble in the dating world. I told her that she had the right to ask if they knew her schedule and to pray about it before saying yes.  She sighed and wouldn't agree with me.