Reaching out to others when your own problems are great

There IS a reason I am compassionate service coordinator.
If you know me, you know why I have that calling.

I know why.

I am not getting blessings today or any other day on this particular service. I don't think the family needs it. Yes, I know, who am I to judge. I am judge and so I will get no blessings.

Good thing Christ is not like the soup Nazi on Seinfield. "NO SOUP FOR YOU"
I would never get the "soup" of life. I keep trying to remember what Brother Bednar spoke about when he was here for stake conference. Among other great gems, he said how Christ would always reach out to others around him and minister to their smaller scale problems. I have had things in my life both long term and short term that were so hard for me. I ended up doing it "alone". Like the 6 weeks when my back was out. The first week I just had to bite the bullet and go to work in so so much pain. I cooked every night. I hated it and never got help.
And so I judge others' pain by my own, only allowing compassion to those whom I deem struggling.
I am bad. I deserve my calling.
I am struggling today - this week -this particular assignment. I feel so guilty , but when I pray I feel my Saviors love and, more importantly, understanding of how much I struggle giving compassion to those around me.

And then I get a little compassion myself despite of my bad attitude. My hubby is bring me a rt. 44 strawberry limeaide from sonic.

And that is why I love him.

Working yourself to death-adrenal fatigue

I have been researching the adrenal glands.

 For years, I have thought that I have adrenal fatigue. It gets worse at the end of the school year. Some of the symptoms are fatigue, salt craving,  low tolerance to stress, loud noise, people you think are incompetent or stupid, waking up at 2 having energy until about 1/2 an hour before the alarm and then it is the best sleep. It was like a train hitting me.

 It defined me. 

I had these symptoms off and on for the last 10 years. Our bodies are just not designed to exposure to so much stress. Teaching school with demanding parents/student expectations causes stress.

I went off soda and caffeine years ago. I stopped having a desire/taste for it. Going off sugar is the next stimulate to repair the adrenal glands.

Sleep is another cure for 7-9 hours and MORE. Trying to go to bed after sunset is the best for replenishing the body. I realize that I was craving getting into bed after making dinner. Now I know it was a way I was subconsciously trying to fix these.

Ashwagandha helps, processed food, reducing exposure to toxins, fasting, meditation, spiritual connection, unhealthy mental patterns-write out what is bothering you and use the tool to find a change in the perception of the reality, exercise that keeps you from overexertion- during this time use gentle exercise, yoga, nonintense, spend time in nature to be in sunlight and better oxygen, sodium, potassium, magnesium, vitamin C, Vit d, and fish oil will help balance the ratio of electrolytes,

Adrenal cocktail: orange juice, cream of tartar, Himalayan pink salt in the morning

Jr Coupon-er in the making

Last week I had K help me cut coupons, I was behind and needed some help. She then started asking me when we could do it again. I wonder if it is just a novel idea or a new found passion for her. You can really never tell with her. She doesn't really have very many interests; Christmas shopping is so hard for her. I buy her things just to give, throw, or hand down things in mere weeks. I wonder how she would like a set of scissors and a newspaper subscription for Christmas...

Tin Haul boots

Really loving this brand of boots. Cute, cute, cute... The down side is the price and the marketing ploy that they are for rebel cowboy teens. I just love them.

When times get tough: COUPON

I have always been a cheap skate when it comes to buying food and things for the house. I have never spent  $900 a month like a few couples have claimed on food. I have ALWAYS kept to the 100 a person rule/ more or less.
So, it all humbly began when I bought 10 pie crust on clearance sale last year after Thanksgiving. Who knew what I was going to do with them; they were just about $.50. I couldn't pass them up and I figured I would do something about the in the year. I haven't, but they have kept well in the year; I have used about 3.

From that beginning, I really started paying closer attention to the sale ads and stocking up somewhat on their sale items. My goal was to create food storage for our family.  Earlier this year, my sitter suggested that we visit a known coupon-er, Shelly, to see what she does. And so it truly began in earnest.
I now have a binder with dividers where I cut coupons, sort, and store them. I get 3 Sunday papers and print on line all the free coupons I might need. I have about4 web sites that I skim each Sunday and Tuesday. I also haggle with stores (usually Safeway they have the hardest coupon policy)

My best deals so far: Argo corn starch WO HOO .$29... makeup where they paid me .$50...

Being Patient, Be Still, Be Prayerful-Listen

As I try to weather the stormy events of our house, I keep reminding myself of all the conference talks that applied to our situation. I have been reminded strongly that I am remembered by the Lord, that he loves us all, that he knows our situation, that we are here to be better than we could imagine and with the Lord all things are possible. It is so so hard to believe that I am worth it. To have hope when it seems impossible. To humble myself and open my mind to possibilities that I didn't want before.

I use to read quotes, quips with those words in them and they really didn't mean much to me. I wanted him to love me in the direction I wanted to go. I still want things to be easy- who doesn't- but I am having faith to walk the invisible "Indiana Jones" bridge before we get to the treasure. I don't like this direction. On my low days I think we will be stuck like this. Yet, quite whisperings of encouragement help me not notice how bad it is.

Someone came to talk to me about our situation, to check in. I felt ok and told her so. Really ok. Do I HATE that our house is in the situation it is-YES!!! with millions of exclamations. But as I talked to her, I decided that I am really just embarrassed at the way we are living right now. I am not worried, or scared or hopeless-most of the time. I believed the words of hope I was giving her about us.

When this all started I told myself I know I had the strength to stand this for another year. Later, I was talking to someone about their problems and answers. I decided that if this year and trial was enough to help my hubby and myself become closer to the Lord I would gladly sacrifice my home and all that I know to be safe  to bring him and me closer -individually and as a couple- to the Lord.
As we are walking through the trial now, I don't see how we are getting closer and I am worried that my thoughts are wrong- but maybe not. We don't see the good until we look back sometimes.

So I am dedicating this problem to my hubby's growth to be closer to the Lord, to my growth, and to an example of faith and trust to others. I am having patience to wait and see the miracles and blessings this will bring us. I will be still, be prayerful and listen.

I will be amazed at the impossible out come. I know this to be true in my heart, mind, and soul.

A slaughter, a massacre on a Friday in SJ

Got home finally at 10 last night after leaving the house at 7:30 that morning. The sophomore class had concessions for the slaughter of SJ/BR game last night. I quit looking at the score at half time. It was just sad. Who knew that you could be massacred without blood. Those poor boys tried so hard.
 It was a little slaughter in the concession stands too. It really makes me realize who will go the distance and who is there to work harder at not working.

I have a respect for one girl that is just amazing; she is a true Christian among Christians, a good student, and really has things going on. No matter what her life choices are, I can see her as a success in life. I have never see a kid work so hard. It puts new faith in teens back into me

Now if I could just find the same faith in co workers- ones who say they are too busy to help and then forget what they said; show up where you are and then try to hid from you in a crowd... Really stupid.