I keep up off and on with certain blogs. I think I do it to torture myself and to laugh at waht they do. Seriously? do they not ever yell at their kids mess and then post it? Is every day a craft day? Are their familes riding in the car singing like the family off step brothers?
Not us.
Cause a clean house is all that I am capable of most days, and if you asked the other 1/2, I don't even have that.
So I guess I got nothing.
Zilch.
But my self worth, and that my friend is really all I need. I wish I could go back in time and give it to the 20 year old me. She really didn't have any. I think many decisions would be different if she had had some. But the fight for life I have had, we all have to do, has given me the kind of self-worth not even rude students or a insensitive spouse can take away.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Miracles
today I am doing what much of the members of my church are too doing. As. I reviewed my week and month, I pondered on what to focus my sabbath and what to ask that I could improve. I chose to turn on the BYU channel-something I don't do on Sunday. I found a talk by Elder Oaks in 2000 to the students at BYU. of course it was good, always hearing from men who dedicated their lives, but something struck me at the end of his talk. yet as I tried to remember what exactly he said, it was like my brain was tied. I was going to speak in church, something that is very private, but I couldn't get the words out. I came home and found the same talk and listened again. I truly wanted to remember what he said and apply his message deeper than I have in the past.
I know what I am about to write wont have the same impact on anyone else as it did to me. however, maybe it will inspire someone to google the talk and find something to apply on their life.
in a side note, I feel impressed to express my gratitude for technology that has allowed me to listen to this talk 3 times 13 years after it was spoken.
the anti miracle mind set is what elder oaks tied into,his message. that we in the modern world rely too heavily on our own works. I have been doing this a lot to the point where my obsession is always with me. I think about it all the time and let it dictate where I go because I am unhappy about it. I chose to focus my fast on this obsession and upon slowly changing my thinking.
miracles happen thought the power of the priesthood and the power of faith. I feel like I struggle with my faith in the area that obesesses me. Little miracles happen each day from the girl who is behind in class and is prompted to catch up before she was called on, to my struggle that doesn't seem to have any success.
it begs the question, then, do I believe on his name enough?
What about the miracles that are not answered. They are not just there for the asking, but some are just not answered. . the will of The Lord is the most important part in receiving a miracle, but there is also faith factor, and the in the Lords time.
I have been praying, but working on my own to,make my desires come to pass. I see it as my job to take care of my body and health and not wait on The Lord to make it happen. miracles don't convert people and what is spiritual confirmation is a cheap sign and wonder for another. the impact of miracles fades over time. faith building experiences are what hold us to our belief. so maybe this is a faith building experience. gag ;)
so do I need to build my faith, do I need to let this go, or am I in a faith building experience as I struggle each day to over come? this is the most hard long term personal thing I haved delt with. most days I feel I am barely hanging on.
elder oaks concludes with that greatest miracle is a mightily change of heart, including new attitudes, priorities, because all restorations will happen in the end. the miracle that changes our heart will open the door to the process of repentance and introduces to the perspective and priorities that will lead us to make eternal life is the true gift of God. when he puts it like that, I can almost let go my health obsession and allow The Lord to take it in His will and in His time. I will see myself again in a month. I will ponder my progress and change in thinking. if I have to, I will work on having. faith the let God in until I have more mastery over my obsessions than I do now today. today the progress is finding Elder Oaks talk and asking for the desire to let go and let God.
I know what I am about to write wont have the same impact on anyone else as it did to me. however, maybe it will inspire someone to google the talk and find something to apply on their life.
in a side note, I feel impressed to express my gratitude for technology that has allowed me to listen to this talk 3 times 13 years after it was spoken.
the anti miracle mind set is what elder oaks tied into,his message. that we in the modern world rely too heavily on our own works. I have been doing this a lot to the point where my obsession is always with me. I think about it all the time and let it dictate where I go because I am unhappy about it. I chose to focus my fast on this obsession and upon slowly changing my thinking.
miracles happen thought the power of the priesthood and the power of faith. I feel like I struggle with my faith in the area that obesesses me. Little miracles happen each day from the girl who is behind in class and is prompted to catch up before she was called on, to my struggle that doesn't seem to have any success.
it begs the question, then, do I believe on his name enough?
What about the miracles that are not answered. They are not just there for the asking, but some are just not answered. . the will of The Lord is the most important part in receiving a miracle, but there is also faith factor, and the in the Lords time.
I have been praying, but working on my own to,make my desires come to pass. I see it as my job to take care of my body and health and not wait on The Lord to make it happen. miracles don't convert people and what is spiritual confirmation is a cheap sign and wonder for another. the impact of miracles fades over time. faith building experiences are what hold us to our belief. so maybe this is a faith building experience. gag ;)
so do I need to build my faith, do I need to let this go, or am I in a faith building experience as I struggle each day to over come? this is the most hard long term personal thing I haved delt with. most days I feel I am barely hanging on.
elder oaks concludes with that greatest miracle is a mightily change of heart, including new attitudes, priorities, because all restorations will happen in the end. the miracle that changes our heart will open the door to the process of repentance and introduces to the perspective and priorities that will lead us to make eternal life is the true gift of God. when he puts it like that, I can almost let go my health obsession and allow The Lord to take it in His will and in His time. I will see myself again in a month. I will ponder my progress and change in thinking. if I have to, I will work on having. faith the let God in until I have more mastery over my obsessions than I do now today. today the progress is finding Elder Oaks talk and asking for the desire to let go and let God.
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