14 years of bliss?

Yesterday was my 14th anniversary. I didn't even gey a text from Scott wishing me so. I didn't and send one either. What was the point. I asked him his plans, in hope that I was important enough to cancel baseball practice. No such luck it seems. However, I knew from his comments that he knew I expected a duty.
I was wanting him to Want to be with me to celebrated our day so that it would be a given to spend a few moments together. We could have even taken a drive together if he had just acknowledged that it was for our anniversary.
He has been on a kick lately about me communicating more. It sounds good in theory- he manages to screw it up because he has spent so much time admittedly ignoring what I find important to talk about and then not telling. Me stuff too...

I made his favorite dinner of tacos and choco chip cookies.


I didn't even get a thank you. But I did get a team jersey as an anniversary present... waht do I have to complain about?

A lesson fron John Patterson

John Ptterson taught me many things, but one I will never forget. To make sure to check in with a higher power before you set your to do list for the day. My to do list is so long, I never get it all done and feel quite discouraged each day- so much so that I never see how what I did do has any value. This is made worse because I take to heart any frown or slight as a major deal from others who don't seem happy with my completed list either. So I travel from day to day pleasing no one. I made the realization on yet another level of what John meant. Since I am not going to please anyone- and even if I did I or the other person wouldnt get true happiness anyway, I have decided to redouble my focus on checking in with my lord. I think he will be more appreciative of what I did get done, he would help me to feel more accomplished and satisfied than any of mankind could. I think he also would soften the hearts of those around me to see me as he sees me. It might also help me to see the important people in my life how the lords sees them too. Even if this paradigm shift takes months or years, it is better to struggle with this idea than wallow in self pity of not good enough that I have been doing. That has not worked out for me yet anyway.

Give a hypocodriac a symptom

A few years ago I had an epidural that knew was off when they did it. Later I had a numb sensation on the lower part of my left leg. I was told it probably go away... It didn't and this summer it has intensified. I am in the process to trying to A. Get drs to believe me, B. get it fixed which is hard because of A... Vicious cycle. So, to say I am hyper sensitive about it is an understatement. I think about it all the time and worry it will never get better. When I feel the same sensation in other parts of m body, I think it is traveling through my bdy. Flash forward to my day in Safeway. My upper right leg kept burning in the same hot way my left calf does. I rubbed it absentmindedly and was annoyed. "Great, it is getting worse, " I thought. I finally realizes that the hot sensation was the portable wifi device in my pocketing was carrying to keep connected to deals and coupons while I shopped... Give a hypochondriac a symptom and she can stay busy for a summer.

St Johns Pioneer Days Rodeo Schedule

I blame the plant and Scott working nights as to why we are involved in the rodeo. Again. If Dante was writing today, the 24th of July rodeo would be the 10 th circle in Hell where inactives, potty mouths, and people with sins similar to ours go, for we have the rodeo duties again. However it is a done deal now and we have some great people to work with. There is a blog that Monica Patterson is hosting this year, it will have more info soon. The is a Facebook page that I am co admin on: " I love the St. John pioneer day (24th of july) celebration". I think the name is too long, but if you can't get there just let me know and we will work on it. The rodeo schedule is now being copued as a flyer at church in the foyers as I will take some copies down to the feed store this week. I think I will post a copy on the window at cupidos and brides.

The holy ghost

Today in church Cody Mack pulsipher came home fromm his mission from, I think, some where in south America. He had tears in his eyes as he told of his gratitude for all the modern convinces we have here. Like a podium that can raise with someone's height or carpet on the floor. He then began reporting his growth and change from his mission. He detailed on the Holy Ghost. He liked the Holy ghost the the light we all carry in us that most people call a contious. Stupid me, never thought about that. How true.

Awaken out of a sleep

I love my hubby, I really do, I admire him when he works late, long, hard, dirty hours. I admire how he can push through the physically hard of life to provide for our family. I don't want to be like that, I am just glad he does it.

I wish he saw that women's bodies were not made to handle that physically taxing work like men. I want to punch the women who taught him that all women want to be equal to men and be treated as such- because somewhere I got the short end of the stick.

I don't want equality like THAT; I have my work and it some ways it is harder than the physically hard work he does.

I am happy to be a woman.

I wouldn't take on his work for the world.

Equal but different. Respect and admiration. Those are my desires.

Women who want it all, can have it.

Held Accountable

I have joined a group that my cousin hosts to see if I can hold myself accountable this summer to work out. I may not have the full 90 days for Tony, and I wasted the first week...... but I think being in a group with my cousin keeps my mind on my goal. I don't want to let her down, esp. when she is doing so well with her health and fitness. 

With that said, Plyo KICKED my BUTT. I had to modify most/all of the jump moves for my knees. I still kept my heart rate up each time I took it to 165-175. My heart had the hardest time keeping up vs. my body. (Can we say internal fat...)