Hiding in the Parking Lot

Yesterday, while in one of our too many buck for U, cheap stores I saw someone I didn't want to see me.

So I Ducked Down.

Yes, I really did that.

In fact, I do that often or I just don't look up to catch their eye, hoping that they are doing the same.

I don't know why I do that exactly. I could say I do that because I don't want the public confrontation from a parent who thinks their darling is so special that even I remember his/her grades by heart in the store when I am trying to keep my son from climbing the isle racks. So special, that out of 118 other kids, I remember each assignment

grade for grade.

Those parents treat me like the other type of self-centered, world-revolves-around-me person out there who see his/her family dr. in public and ask him "Just a quick question" about gastrointeroitis. Or some other long named question like that.

Umm,. Yea. Not. So. Much.

However, I used to do the ducking thing before I taught. So, while teaching gives me more of an opportunity to do so, I would still do it to someone BT (before teaching)

Cause, I don't like:

• small talk
• questions that don't need an answer
• personal info
• prying questions where I will tell too much and regret
  later
• info about your health when I don't care
• info about people I don't know (yea this is my favorite
  one)
• gossip
• Whining, boo-hooing, or griping

All those things I can do without because frankly, I have those problems swirling in my head,

I do not need help with those weaknesses

And

SO, I ducked down behind my truck yesterday rather than hear info I didn't have time for anyway. I can blame not seeing people now on my kids,

when I am old?I am going to get a hearing aide

Even if I don't need one, a big one just for public. Then I can blame it on the batteries. A seeing eye dog would work too.

Sorry, couldn't see you- see I have the dog to prove it.

Mom, my stomache hurts...

I know every mom has hear that phrase. I am sick of it. I get it a lot lately. It is probabally a testiment to how our health has been going lately.

The symptoms are nondescript and vague.

This plague ususally comes at bedtime, when chores are due, when they don't want to got to school.... you know the drill.

What I don't know is what to respond to this complaint and whine. I usually ask them what they want me to do about it.

They respond "I don't know"

And I don't know either.

I was listening to the TV and pondering

THe word pondering should not go with TV, but I was listening to Joyce Meyers this morning trying to get motivated to work out.

Her topic was being too Busy to be Fruitful.

Aren't all teachers

Look at what I found on the Internet

I have always thought my name was strange and just made up by my parents to be unique in the 70's.

BUT

I found this pic from one of the WW's. MY Name on a PLANE.

I could not find my name on pencils, rulers or any of that other kiddy stuff you see on the display racks by the cash registers,

Instead, I got a plane. Whoo Hoo.

Santa, Snoring, and a Baby in a Drawer

We went to the hospital for Christmas. I wanted the kids to remember the funny Christmas part of this and not the scary part of this-earlie in the week Kennedy thought Scott was dying. She is nosey and at the age where she puts 2 and 2 together to get 5.

We got there about 2. We got a big big taco bell lunch and played with dad who was ready to sleep. We didn't bring blankets ( on purpose) and Kennedy was getting confused and worried. I cooked up the story that she needed to wash her hands and the kids were off to the public bathroom. I whipped out the sleeping bag from Santa, left a note on it for her and ran out the door. When Kennedy came back in and FINALLY saw the bag, it was a nice surprise and maybe a booster for her to believe in Santa ( she is waivering).

My sister showed up, took the kids to my grandpa's for Christmas Eve dinner and Scott and I had a quiet night until about 8:30. Scott slept while I watched The Christmas Story.

The kids came back, opened 1 christmas present- PJs from my mom and settled down for a long winter's nap with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads.

About 10:30 Scott woke me up and I groggily put out presents, making sure each had a fair amount. Which was a good thing, because later, Kennedy was sure that Wesie got more that she did. I didn't think so, but you know how little kids are.

The funniest thing was where everyone had to sleep.

Yep, that is Kelsey, in a drawer. I figured if the old timers could do it, I could too for one night.

What you get when you ask for help

When we were in the hospital, I took my youngest brother up on his offer to help me with chores. I didn't take anyone else up on that offer, but it was Christmas eve, we were spending the night and I needed to get over there. So, I called.

First, he sounded put out a little and weird. (like usual), however, I ignored that and told him what I wanted. Fire wood, water for the horses and feeding for the horses.

He got at the house; the kids wanted to go with him. I knew Wesie knew what to do so I told Jake to listen to Wesie. I thought Jake had fed horses like we did as kids; I thought he would interpreted what Wesie said to do and do what was right.

I was so wrong.

I called Jake the next day to see what he did. He told me he fed 1 flake to each horse and called in the cows for 2 more bales.

What the kids told him was 6 flakes to EACH horse, 2 flakes to the bull that was penned up and nothing to the the cows in the pasture.

Where was Jake when we were growing up???

Bad News Santa... You have to brave the hospital.

Yesterday, after I cut the wood for the day, thawed the hoses to water the animals, watered them, and rolled 2, 100 foot hoses up, wrapped the well house pipes with insulation, did a load of laundry, fed the baby 2 times and got in the tub...

we were on our way to ShowLow Hospital. All four of us.

We visited Big Daddy, who was not that much better. Here is a picture of the next day. If you compare the two pics together, there isn't much improvement. (sorry about the picture quality-camera phone and a dark room)

(Sigh)

There is a reason you don't take little kids to the hospital unless they are sedated or sick...

They were so bored and restless. They jumped off everything...

• the couch,
• the bed,
• the bio-hazard can.
• the chair

They hit each other with the get well balloons.

The baby cried.

They tried to visit the nurses, who, they though would think they were so cute.

What were they thinking??

(OK, I think they are cute, but they belong to me, every naughty word and sweet smile)

If I go back today, they are not.

I feel like one of those moms I hate.. You know the "I don't know what to do and why my kids are so bad" moms. I guess I expect total obedience.

After talking with Big Daddy yesterday, they told him AT LEAST! THREE MORE DAYS! Don't those hospital people have a heart? We are on one of the last years for a true belief in Santa, so I wanted this one at home.GRRRRRRRHHHHHH. However, There are so many other poeple who are in a worse shape than us. So Santa?

Meet me in room #202 at the ShowLow Freekin' Hospital.

I will be the crazy one, saying "Don't " and " Stop That right now, mister, Do you want me to call Santa to come take that back?".

Lumps of coal and prozac are optional.

(preferred???)

Christmas

Can I make a confession? Well, I am going to even if you don't want to hear it.

I hate Christmas...

WHeeW, There I said it.

And I don't feel guilt about it,

and you can't make me.

I am not talking about the Christ in christmas stuff, I am talking about the budgeting for the crappy cheap gifts that you try to pon off as proof of love.

I would so rather give service. I could use 1 day a month of a cleaning service or a painter finish my painting.

The crappy cheap junk? I can buy that stuff for myself.

OH, well

(sigh .....)

I will contiue to barrell through big lots and wal mart looking for meaning.

Don't feel sorry for me I have made my peace with it. I will some day change the world and my family's mind into giving service too.

Just another day at the....Hospital. Its no beach.

How many of us can be in the hospital before the end of the year? 4 of the 5 of us as it turns out. Scott is the next victim in line to brave the ShowLow hospital. He has cellulitis. For those of you who don't know what it is, I will tell you. For the weak at heart, skip this one.

It is an infection under the skin. It comes from a staph or strep bacteria. You usually get it through a cut, sore, scrape, bite or ingrown hair. Of which, Scott had none of these in the last two weeks.

If left untreated you can loose a limb or die. See what Scott's looked like when he was admitted.

Lovely, huh?

I don't know when he he will get out and worse case, Santa will be visiting the hospital room. I can't wait. I am sure it will be an adventure for the kids. If we could get a Santa to drop off the presents there, it would be fun. Poor Scott. Last night they blew out his veins 3 times from the antibiotics they were giving him. They also gave him a shot in the stomacher in Case he had a blood clot. They told him the shot would hurt.

I don't think it would be as bad as an amnio...

I wonder what this bill will be....

The final is written

Ahh Hahh, The final is written... 135 questions.

Now we will see if those little darlings studied. They certainly won't be the kids who didn't pick up their study guides left in the basket on the way out the door. Some? They will spend most of their night trying to find ways to cheat. Like writing it all down on a rubber band or on their legs.

I can't remember what I use to do. Did I study for finals? I think so since I graduated in the top 15 of my class. But maybe not. Maybe I was just lucky.
So, then, are kids in AZ dumber? I don't know if the kids in Texas were smarter, but kids don't seem like they are trying to study these days.

Can you live Pioneer Style? St. Johns Goes Unplugged

Today, as many St. Johnians (or is it Johnites? Whatever) will know, the power was out. I don't mean for a few minutes in isolated homes, but the entire town.
Crazy huh?
It had something to do with transformers, old lines, weather, I don't know.
But it got me to thinking...

How many of us can live Pioneer style?

I think I could. At least, for a while, but most of the bratty over indulged kids at school were freaking out. They kept checking their cell phones as a link to the outside real plugged in world.

It didn't bother me, but there are so many things we can't do without because we have painted ourselves into an electronic corner. Food, medicine, school, heat, time. We use electricity for all those things.

Crazy how dependent we are on it. So I ask, Can you live without it?

Me? I am going to the library to check a book out.

IDIOT...

I threw away evidence last night.

Sounds much more intriguing that it really is. I had been mad at Scott some time back over who he talks to and how much, (cause I am the worlds worst Sophie and I printed off his call record. I didn't ever look at it, but kept it around as one of those things you mean to get rid of and you don't. As I was helping my daughter clean her room, I noticed that she had those papers-probably to color on the backs, and I threw them away in the bathroom trash.

Scott took a shower that night.

He wouldn't talk to me until I finally drug it out of him.

I don't know how to apologise to him in such a way to let him know that I am sorry he found them and not because he caught me but because I am over that now and it doesn't matter to me. I am sorry I hurt him because he has been so awesome to me lately that my issue of checking up on him has gone away. I haven't even thought about it for over a month.

I have ruined all the progress we have made.

Now before anyone thinks that I should just say that, I must say that Scott has been hurt like this all his life. I am part of that pattern. A simple I am sorry won't work.

Why do things like this alway happen to us just as things start to be really really awesome between us? I must be subcontentiously sabatoging us.

IDIOT

Family talk

After talk amongst the kids we decided this situation is very familiar.

Marriages have been ruined and had lots of trouble before in this family (who has not had that problem)
, I read somewhere that you keep repeating the life lessons until you learn them. Guess we did not learn.

We didn't want to see that happen this time. It was too hard to watch it the last few times for poeple to go throught that. There have been ex's in our family who are so believable in their lies or outrageous in their behavior (like not making a kid take a bath while he/she visited for a month) and I am beginning to realize that this situation is cut from the same cloth.

We all wanted wanted to set the story straight before things got out of hand for Wes in the future.


We set the appointment .



We got together and started talking. The bishop didn't see things the way we did. He kept telling us to take the high road and I kept thinking about Joesph Smith; how did he do it. We tried to tell him what was really going on without rehashing the sordid past. It did no real good. I was diappointed in the outcome. I expected the bishop to act shocked, surprised or something.

He just smiled that slow smile and tried to get us to be patient.

I agree with his councel, but I was expecting fireworks, not those little pops you get in a box. But little pops are nice too.

Weigh in

I have lost another 1/2 inch for a total of 1. whole little not so fat inch no weight lost, but no weight gained. Why why why won't 160 lbs go down? Don't answer I probabally know it is the ice cream and cake I sneak.

Jerry Springer would be disapointed, maybe I am too.

So here is the low down on the fueneral.



We got there a little late. (I like to be very prompt-spurring from my days as a family who walked into church late and had to "mother duck it" to the front row)



People were milling around - many, many people. It was a little surprising to see how many people came to pay their respects to this little old silly lady Granma Orna. She was such a quiet retecient person in the family that it never dawned on me that she might have shone in the community.

The relief society room was getting full- luckily Big Daddy and I had gotten there early enough to pick the back row-center.

I had been told there was a nursery-thank goodness, didn't want to battle our children-they would be so bored. I was rounding up kids-mine and cousins. When I came back into the room, Aunt Karen and Helen were sitting in my seat. I was so nervous that when I answered Karen's question about my seat it came out,



"Pfft, ummm no haahaa"

Stupid huh?

Anyway, I went back to the nursery with more kids. When I was walking back down the hall, I see Helen


followed by Karen

followed by Josh. I wondered what had just happened. But I was really focused on getting kids to nursery and didn't pursue the train of thought.

I went in just in time to have the family prayer before the services started. It was a nice little prayer and then the family shuffled off to the front rows. It was a conga line of family. I wondered if there were some hangers on just wanting a good seat.

Life sketches were given by the three boys: Wes, Snuff- who I thought was going to take forever, and Pat. That alone was 45 minutes> Ugg I thought we were going to be there for years. My baby was passed down the line like a box of tissues. I think Uncle Ryon used her to get out of singing. Why didn't I think of that???

Oh, cause He got to it first.

Any way. After the grandkids and spouses and greats sang "I am a child of God" like a tom cat perched on a fence on Saturday, there were stories and tributes- I even got to give one. I told of how she would let my kids go crazy with her lipstick all the while telling me it was no big deal. It was then, it isn't now.

A song was sung by her twin sisters . The closing spiritual thoughts were given.

I got up to check on the kids and I saw Helen again. She was on the back right pew. Why she didn't sit with the kids I don't know. But it caused some gossip.

but that was all

It was a typical boring LDS funeral right down to the weird casseroles for lunch after the burial.

I was temped to have a food fight to lighten things up

maybe that phone call I made to Jerry Springer was premature. :)

Sick and Tired of Sick and Tired and Rantings

I think I am on my 3rd sinus infection since Thanksgiving. I keep drinking ACV everyday thinking it will help and maybe it does... I don't know. It is also supposed to help with weight also; it has not yet.

I don't want to report my weight this week.. I have gained 3-4 lbs, but lost a 1/2 inch.

Today we are getting close to the end of school. I am happy. I am tired tired today and could use the rest.

No rest for the wicked...

I have a funeral and ALL of Christmas shopping.

Yes, I said ALL.

Because I didn't want to charge anything and had to wait for paychecks. Yet, I am not complaining.

I am so very grateful to have some money to spend. I know with the recession, there are families without jobs and can't get Christmas or food or heat. I want to help some people instead of glorying in our safety of good jobs with decent paychecks.

This would be a good year to par down ( is that the word? I know it isn't pair or pear...)I have wanted to do that for years, but I remember not getting much as a kid-mom didn't work, there were 5 kids, my dad changed jobs whenever he got mad at his boss or situation and never wanted to work for "THE MAN"- (btw if you meet "THE MAN" can you tell me if he really is such a bad person to work for, and who he really is..)



(if you ask my mom, that wasn't the reason $$ was tight, but its my blog and my perception)

Needless to say, money didn't grow on trees.

So with that in my past, I don't want my kids to feel like the poor kids in their class. They might think that anyway because I am cheap and tight with money.

But I don't want them to be the spoiled either. Other people's brats are horrible. Why don't people tell their friends and family that their kids are horrible? Instead, those kids are allowed to run wild like hooligans, and parents blame the school, friends, society, ex's or whatever. Why can't anyone just say,

"yea, I know my kids are brats and I am lazy when it comes to disipline."

I am realizing this is turning negative and disjointed and I don't even feel negative, and two girls are two smart comments away from a fist fight.

And I have a headache comming on...

I better just log off.

Jumping the Gun and to Conclusions.

OK, to have a blog is to let it all hang out there while jumping to conclusions. Then, you have to make sure you take it back and hope that all the people you poisioned with your negative thoughts read and understand.

Oh, the lesson of gossip....

Oh, the lesson of NO Patience...

So here is my humble pie. please have a slice with me if you need to.

My FIL came over and told us his future plans. They sound like good righteous goals. I realize that I have not given him enought credit because for so long he didn't give himself credit. He has plans for the temple as soon as he can go. That is bitter sweet, but we all have to have bygones in life and this has to be mine. I feel so sorry for my hubby. In his growing up years with no priesthood example in his home.

BUT

I can't let my bitter sweet what-should-have-beens get in the way of what could be. I can't wait for the future blessings for our family and his potentially new one. How exciting! (you have to say that in the most prince john from the cartoon robin hood voice... what you don' know that one? watch it)

I just have a question.. How would one treat the MIL in a divorce? She has been generous on her own terms, nice when she wants to,loves her kids fiercely, and there are other nice qualities, and

I dont' want to throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak.

I just ready Missy's blog on charity and still have twinges of that hovering over me like sugar plums dancing in my head. What is the better road to take with the situation without getting sucked into it? Gosh now I know how everyone must have felt when Scott and I were at those cross roads.

SO now? How much support do I give and when do I say' " You got to do this on your own...?"

Anyone?, anyone,?

Bueler, ...

Bueler????

Colder than a Can of Worms

IT is 1 degree! 1!! I hate the cold, a lot. It could never be cold again and I would be happy. Not really happy but content. I remember living in Mesa and sometime around September the green would just look wrong and tired, like it needed winter.

I guess I need winter too. It makes me appreciate Summer that much more. Which then makes me think that I am grateful for so many things: like family who are close and our relative health ( I know, ha, we all have gotten out of the hospital) but we are not terminal. I am grateful for our good jobs in this time of recession and I truly feel for those who don't have good jobs.

I know I opened up a can of worms a family issue that I should have kept pent up. I should be more Christlike.

And maybe, just maybe after I get out of church today I will edit it or get rid of it all together because

WWJD....

Not spend days blogging that is for sure.

Creating Drama as if there isn't enough

Do you ever feel that the people around you create drama on purpose? Like they are addicted to it?

I feel that way right now after contemplating next Saturday.- the day we decided to bury Lorna.

My FIL told my MIL she was not welcome to sit with him at the funeral. That was bad enough. aKAK. What a can of worms he opened.

He told one of the kids that he feels divorced already. Ya, ok , but he IS NOT. Not in the eyes of the Lord or the state of Arizona.

You know that is an example of what is wrong with our society today. No one wants to do anything the right way esp when it is the hard way. We have grown too lazy in our comfort. We have become such a society of PC that no one even knows where to draw the line of right and wrong.

And so come this Saturday I will be sitting on watch dog patrol.

Waiting and prepared

For the inevitable episode of Jerry Springer to erupt.

It should be good watching.

Thank You Grandma "Orna"

Lorna M. Scarbrough passed away at 10:58 am 12/3/08. She will be missed by her 10 grandchildren and married spouses , 11 great-grandchildren two sons and daughters in law.

The girls came and got me to go to Snowflake yesterday. We said good-bye in the funeral home. She was still warm and had good color. I took it for granted that people who passed away were cold and stiff immediately. She look peaceful and beautiful, but of course different.

We picked out a coffin, a book and set up the program-spelling the names and getting the order of speaking correct. We made plans to clean her grave site, put make up on her and in general get things ready for her funeral. Then we got to laughing at all the funny memories we had of her.

We ate taco bell and went home. When we went home we gathered to tell the grandkids. My kids didn't get it until later. (We had a rough bedtime and my kids slept together.)

Then we went to Corkey's to eat - again. While we were there Mother came. She slung open the door, and stomped in. Good thing that Corkey's was empty. She accused us of not telling her about Lorna and having to find out from strangers at 5:30 that evening.

I was possessed. I told her she was wrong. Cheska called her at 11 to tell her that she thought grandma had died, and then tried to call her back to confirm it the rest of the day but she didn't answer her phone. Mother said she didn't have missed calls. I said that I was there 1/2 the time when Cheska called; I know she did try to call her all day. Scott piped up and mentioned that if you don't have service, then your phone doesn't show up as a missed call.

She changed the subject after Scott got in on it and asked me what was going on with the funeral. I started to detail it out for her and in the middle of talking to her, she walked out the door. I looked at her and then at the kids. My jaw dropped open...

We kept eating. What should we have done?

Did I tell you?

Did I mention that I love love my hubby??

If, I have not said so before, I want to state it now. I love Scott Scarbrough Jr. He is a good man who endures much and gives more.
He has been so so sweet and attentive and complimentary lately that it seems like aliens have replaced him with a clone.

Except they haven't.

It is just him and how he has grown lately to ignore my faults even more than he has in the past.

What have I done to deserve all the praise and lavish compliments? Who knows.

I pray each day that I am doing something to deserve this from him.

It has been so nice. Have I been that nice to him? I bet not. I hope he knows that even if I am not a better person who deserves this new level of hubby that I am still very grateful, appreciative and feel loved.

I even want to take a page from his book and recipocate the compliements and love. I want to do more for you and want to make your life easier....

"Hey Scott, ?
In case you didn't know."

The feeling is mutual.

Saying goodbye

Sunday we went to Snowflake to say goodbye.

Scott's grandma is in hospice care at his uncle's home.

I don't know how I feel about it all. It was a special, sad and spiritual experience. She was clearly shutting down-didn't have much energy nor could she think clearly. She isn't eating much at all and can't drink much, but the hospice people said that is normal, her body doesn't need much. She is communicating with the other side.
When we left, the baby cried a sad sad cry. She didn't cry a mad or hurt cry, (you mom's know what I am talking about) but something you would hear from an older person. I can't even explain it if you were not there to hear it. It was like she felt how close the veil was and was sad that she couldn't have that still. She was mopey and serious-very unlike herself for 2 days. I hope Lorna is a peace.

And yet, life renews, We have a new little neice in the family- Kelsey at 3 months is no longer the baby baby.

Baby-to -be-named is 4 weeks early, full full head of hair. I think you can put it up all ready, 6lbs 7 oz and 18 inches long!!

to put it in perspective, she is pretty much the same as Kelsey was at full term. Can you imagine if she had been full term??? 11 lb baby!! Yikes and oh my!