Random Wesie-ism

I have waited too long to tell all these stories in order, instead of waiting for the memeories to come, I am going to random them. Even if they are not in order, they are still funny/annoying ( depending upon if you are me or someone else laughing 'cause you're not me).

One Thursday evening I went up to the high school to check in on my room. When I got there the sub was still there working on grades due for the 4.5 week check-this must have been right before the milk incident, now that I remember.

Anyway, Wesie was bored; I was talking to the sub. He asked to go out and with out really listening to him, I said "Sure, Wes, whatever you want." A little later I see his scrunched up body hunching to stay afloat in my tall window. How he manages to climb a brick wall to look into my classroom I will never know. Nevertheless, I waived him off and didn't listen to what he was trying to say throught the closed window. Big, BIG mistake ( like Julia Roberts' character would say in Pretty Woman to the sales clerk who wouldn't wait on her).

He got down and disappeared;I finished talking and went outside. I called and called him name. He didn't answer the echos against the brick walls of "Wesieee, Wesieee". I walked through the halls, no Wes. I went down to the football arena. I looked around at all the kids playing behind the bleachers at this home JV football game-no Wes. I asked a church friend to keep an eye out for him as I walked away from the field and up to the baseball fields. Far in the distance, I could see varsity practicing, but no Wes. I started to PANIC. Should I go to the backside of the school and look near Otis' office, or maybe the auto shop? It had been around 20-30 minutes and I was very late for picking up Kennedy from ballet. Who should I worry about more now? Kennedy or Wes? I started to leave to pick her up. I fugured if he saw me drive away it would serve him right for being scared. As I was walking back to the game, I see our church friend with Wes in hand. Relief flooded my heart and I started to cry. I thanked our friend who was laughing-he is on the other side of raising his wild bunch of boys.
Kneeling down I shook and hugged him, thankful that I didn't have to ask Officer Nickel for help locating him.

Having those memorized ancient unresolved "differences" (AKA a fight)

Scott is Home!!

I had that dating feeling for him all day. I had a romantic welcome home envisioned with shaved legs, good pork roast and kids in bed by 8. But boy did I get a surprise. It ended up one of those days that you see going bad, try to fix it with "good ideas", but in the end just gets worse with each fix you try. Argghh.

This is not the first time he has come home from a long trip or work and the homecoming goes awry (used that word for all my 9th grade, wordly wise vocabulary haters). I don't know why my plans for a special moment ususally ends up repeating "that fight".

Those who have been married for a number of years have a catalogue of unresolved differences that crop up repeatedly when situations trigger them. This is one of those instances. This one is fight #1.

The details vary, but the basis of fight #1 goes a little like this.
Scott is tired from a trip or work. I am not avaliable. I am unavaliable because I either am daydreaming of seeing him again and doing my own thing to make the dream come true OR I am spending my last free minutes doing something for me. Either way, he gets made at me for not being there for him. Then I get upset because he is upset and I bring up stored up reasons to be mad also (those "reasons" are other fights: #2, # 5 or #3). By telling him that I am CHOOSING not to think about those, I am setting myself up as the righteous higher-roader and Scott as the nit picker. This never works, and now we are both rude.

We either call or text snippy things, or ignore each other-both keep the hurt an anger alive until we meet up face to face.

When we get face time, the following will happen.

I will go out to see him. I am nervous about the fight- feeling guilty and worried that this could blow up into a longer version. He will ignore me and be sweet/kind/funny to others: our kids, people on the phone, the animals. If I try to get him to talk to me, by talking to him in my accusitory short voice, I get snippy cut downs. We go through the "old" reasons from each side about why the fight is each other's fault. This could last from 30 minutes to the rest of the evening.
We use to have these as an all nighter; at the height of our low point, it would last for days or weeks, with Scott wanting to leave or quit because this marriage is so unbearable and wrong that he needs to start fresh.

I hate this fight the most out of all of them. It is the one that scares and annoys me the most. He is right about what I do to him in his eyes. I think he sees it this way because he is more needy or dependent in this area than I am for him. It isn't a bad thing, but I think he hates that I am not there at all times and hates that he feels this way. (Wish I knew this part from his point of view)

So, I spin my wheels trying to fix status quo. It is comical in a sad way; activities that are usually ok are bad; all my ideas bomb and not just because he is still mad; I actually see them not working out in slow motion an like a crash you can't look away from. I.E. He was mad, then last night's dinner was not done-potatoes hard in the middle, roast didn't fall apart, old things were argued about and I tried to fix it by going out to dinner. He didn't want to and when we did, dinner was 45 mintues late, and burnt, making him more frustrated.

The lesson in all this is unlearned and we will have this fight again. (sigh)
I don't expect him to figure his end out as if it is all his fault. I understand that we are on this earth and married in unperfection to become perfected. I even welcome the stuggle. I just want to see #1 fight coming and find new ways to combat it and detour it before it gets far. I want to see growth, (and I do in a way because I can laugh at Scott when he tries to end it with a joke ) I have the dialogue to fight #1 almost memorized and it is aweful. However, the Lord allows us to be in situations to have us grow,learn, and gain experiences. I am so willing to stick with Scott and even with fight #1 until we both have achieved the Lord's goals for each of us. My on fear is: Will Scott be willing too? I guess that is what faith is all about....

Got Milk? How about... Got Manners? (another post on the Wesie Watch 2008)

So, there we were; Thursday of week 2. I had exactly 7.5 weeks left before I had to (wanted to maybe, kinda, ya, no?!!!) go back to teaching school. We had started painting my remodeled bedroom 'cause you know some day I will actually sleep in that room instead of my oldest daughter's room with the jack and jill bathroom door hitting my side of a queen size bed (yes this room is THAT small and on another day I will tell you more about the unique characteristics of this room) We had washed brushes and such, now it was time for dinner.

Anyway, I know you are dying to hear more about Wesie. We went to ballet, not we, Kennedy did, we just waited outside or something. I dont remember now. Not sleeping can do that to your recollection of the details.We stopped in at our local grocery store IGA, aka Wilburs. I got milk and milk only... ;picture... One cold gallon of milk in right hand getting heavier as I waited, small baby drapped over left arm drooling on floor, me feeling like ummm..., not right because spent too much time on feet painting, son 5 and daughter 6.5, spinning like whirling dirvishes while they waited for our turn to pay. Line was long... I know, how long could a line be in a town of 3,500? Well, I was standing in the cereal isle... And the first person in line was annoying me.
There was a perky, thin, exactly right colored red head in front of me with none of my same baggage carrying a cute purse to boot. I avoided her gaze 'cause I didn't want to see pity.. maybe distaste. Well, could not avoid her for long. WESIE hit

the side of her knock off gucci bag with his hand as he whirled around in the store. Now, I wasn't ignoring him, I had been hissing at him like a hissing cockroach to stop. She, the red head, looked at me, and then mumbled something that sounded like "uggh,blgek, bjeaad, adggeitt"

I comented right back: ""SERIOUSLY, LIKE HE DID IT ON PURPOSE"Nobody does that to my Wesie except me. Really people, she was rude. by the way, he got sent to the truck for misbehaving.

Hair Cut Round 2 with a buzzy ending /Wesie Wednesday

Ok, so I had decide to let Wesie's hair grow out, baldy spots and all, from the previous Monday's hair cutting ugliness. But no no it could not end there. When I was in the bathroom getting Kennedy ready for school on the next Wednesday, (it has now been 9 days of Kelsey's new life for those of you who are confused) Wesie brings me scissors. To which I said "Thanks Wes" not caring about or wanting those scissors. Then he brings me wisps of brown hair. Yes, folks he has done it again. Apparently, Tuesday night he found the scissor in my jewlery box and cut again. OH<> MAD.

Now, I was going to "DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT." I called my mom for moral support and looked for the hair trimmers. For years Scott has been telling me how easy it is to cut boys hair and even said that he would let me cut his mop. But no no, I have no confidence in myself and didn't want to do it for fear it would be ugly. However, TODAY, the fear was replaced by anger. I put that boy on the stool, found the trimmers, and went to town.

When I got finished with him, he wouldn't have hair to cut, and he didn't.

Fatty McFat Fat

The title is in tribute to my irreverent nephew, Jonathan. He always calls people that. I hope as a joke... His mother sure thinks it is funny. Anyway, today our baby went to the doctor. She has gained 3.5 lbs and 2 inches. All healthy except a cold. Oh, well.

Scott is in OKC still. He has not done so well. I am trying not to be disappointed. I paid tithing and fasted yesterday for Scott to win enough to pay 3 of our debts. I even tried making a deal with the Lord that if he allowed Scott to do that, I would start saving the $500 that winning would free up and have Scott do the same... I guess you can't make deals with the Lord. He probabally wants us to learn from our debt decisions the hard way. :(

Another installment of What Wesie did the first Month

So that next Tuesday, (Kelsey has been home 1 week now), Mom and I cleaned out my garage, and among the stuff we found another bull whip. You would have to know Scott, but if he can't find it, he buys another one. Since he never feels he should organizes his stuff, (as it is always my fault or the kids fault that something is dirty, messy, lost or disorganized), he has multiples of many things. I think he owns 7 levels! So anyway, Wesie had a ball with this whip all day. He chased the cows around and around in the pen with it. He came home later STIN-KY.

Then on Wednesday he went traveling with it. He was found by the Skowsen kids jumping on their tramp with it. The next morning when they told on him, his defense was that their tramp had more "bouncy" to it than ours. What a crack up! I felt like a bad mom because I didn't know it even happened.

I might regrete this.. but I have to get into shape.

Ok, here goes. I have been reading Missy Waite's blog about getting healthy. Hope you don't mind Missy. Anyway, I realized that I have to write my goals down (yes, Scott everyone comes around to your way of thinking) in order to have them "stick". My embarassment over having this public stopped me. Then I thought, this public post will be a push to get me to stick to it. I have a weakness when it comes to sticking to goals. I blow myself off.

Then, I realized that means that I am not important to me. That is wrong. I should put Christ first, and me second (hear me out on this before you judge me selfish) and my family third. The rest of my responsibilities will vary depending upon the day. I am not selfish putting me second, because I need to be great- healthy in mind, body,and spirit so that I have so much more to give give give.

Goals:

1. to read my scriptures daily

2. to have family prayer daily

3. to be a better example to my children

a. completing 1 & 2

b. serving others

c. being healthy in mind, body, spirit

4. On with the body goal

a. loose 20 lbs.- drop inches from all measurements.

b run 4 miles without stopping

c. eat healthy and cook healthy

d. excercise 30-60 minutes 5 x a week

5. read a good book daily/cut TV by 1 hour a day

6. to follow through with a goal.

No more wasting time- here is the ugly, long and short of it all. I am 35 years old. I am 5'8" tall. I measure 24" in the thigh, 40" in the lower hip, 36" in the midline, 32" in the waist, and 12" in the upper arm. I am 160 lbs in the a.m. with nothing on (can I count nursing as 2-3 extra lbs?) and my BMI is 24.9. I am at the high end of the range scale on everything it says I should be for my bracket. Whew! That is hard to admit. I don't plan on going to a radical diet- just follow the word of wisdom.

I don't know how long this will take. "They" say a 1 -2 lbs a week, but each person is different. I could use some expert advise ( no crazy diet advise allowed here). I do need to figure out how to fit this in when I go back to work with a nursing baby. I am going to take it to the Lord and ask for his help on finishing the goal and not getting crazy with it all.

As I was typing the goals the strongest impression came to me that I do need to make sure that I am healthy so that my family and those around me can benifit. So this is a right thing for me.

Finally, On the Road To OKC and venting

Scott has planned to go the OKC national finals of roping this year. I am proud of him, sure(ALWAYS!!!), because he qualified to go, but as a mom, I can find better things to spend the money on right now... (can you say finish the remodel).
Anyway, I helped him get ready, I use the word help very loosely- i did most of the hard work to get him ready- laundry, ironing, cleaning the trailer, packing, calling the vet... He did fix some broken things on the trailer and took a shower... If I was going somewhere, would he help me??? NO, he would pout about being alone and in charge SOLO.

Does any wife out there feel the same as I do?

So now I am in charge of the herd-the kids, cows, and horses, until he gets back. Not liking the extra chores. Should I let most things go until the day he gets back and clean it all up then? I am thinking about it.

If I could guarantee that some one, would not show up here, I would do just that. Some people can't remember what it is like to have small kids-now and now the house is always clean. And so obsessive that good things are thrown away; yes, you could dumpster dive in the trash and find treasures. It is bad enough when you do that at your own house, but if you go to clean someone elses' house-you are become like Monk. Everything is trash to these type of people. I wish I had all the money that they have thrown away. Obsessively clean by using a 96 load laundry soap in like 20 loads is funny, too.
You ever seen Mr. Mom, when the soap is coming out of the washer?; I always wait for that to happen. You can wash you dry clothes without soap on the next run because of the amount of soap used. The Downy-forget about it, the towels don't dry you and your socks feel greasy. But if you ask them, it is just clean.

Tonight is the big Homecoming game, but since I am out of the loop, I don't know anything about it. I will say that I am frustrated with **** because of her email from Tues. To be fair, I am far far from perfect too... Yet, the *** is already behind and was wanting to show a movie today-one that is not planned for. The unit started MONDAY and *** was behind by Wednesday. I told her in the email,I felt so rude doing it, that no matter what she decides, she will have to catch up because I was not going to be behind when I got back. If she is giving them a easy week , then they can have tons of homework next week to catch up. I can't decide if I think she is great or if I need to go back to work like TODAY. Maybe I just want to go back to work because I would have a valid excuse for having a dirty house.

Laundry, Laundry, Go Away, Come Again Another Day.

Laundry is what I have been doing all day long. I still have 2-3 loads left. If anyone is reading this and thinking like Scott, you would say to me "

Well how come you left it all to one day. If you were just organized you would not be .... (fill in the blank with you own ending).
Well, if he would have looked at my stupid washer when I asked him to, this would not be the never ending laundry day.
So, I decided to exchanged my "New, Good" washer. ( Never, never, buy a GE brand) for my grandmother's old washer. I have gratitude in my heart for that washer that has seen many days. Maybe some of her guru laundry magic will rub off. Our clothes have been so hard to get clean the last 2 years. Maybe it is because of the POS washer and not the POS washer-er (ME). However, one piece of grip to ruin this post of gratitude. What do people think? People meaning my family. They leave things in pockets, stains they don't tell me about, and things inside out. Really, Like I have nothing better to do...
Now what is for dinner? They are out roping and if it was just me I would eat cold cereal or cottage cheese and fruit. I forgot to start the roast and looking in the freezer I can't find anything... can colored popcicles count as the 4 food groups?

Monday, Monday ...Wesie, Wesie

So here is another part of What Wesie Has Done: one week into new baby home. I was doing my thing with the baby. (Not being able to take a shower until 10) and I noticed that Wesie was gone.I called and called his name. I figured he was down at the barn or wandering around being a boy. Then I see him jump out of the weeds at the front of the house. I got on to him for being in the road and went back into the house. A few minutes later I called his name again from inside the front room. Through the gauzy curtains, I could see him sitting on a blue coke cooler on the sidewalk. When he heard me calling him, he went to a unused flower pot, put something in there and open the front door with an angelic "What Mom?" face. I saw him put a yellow Popsicle in the flower pot and upon closer examination realized it WASN'T one of our brand. I questioned him and he said he went to Aunt Rhonda's and was thirsty so she gave him a Popsicle.
He said she didn't let him into the house but made him wait outside for it. I wonder why she did that... but he got in trouble for running away down the road.
I am so afraid he will get hit by a careless driver going to the Meadows Ranch down from us.

The attack of a Wesie the first Friday.

I have made it 3 days now in my story of "What Wesie has done". I love that little boy. He needs so much more than I can give right now. I feel sorry for him. I know he is bored at home. I now know why Julie (my cousin) felt so hesitant to watch him. He is a handful. I was just getting out of the shower and looking for clothes; when I realized that there was a visitor in our house. Needless to say I hightailed it back to the bedroom. Wesie and I had a talk about answering the door when I was busy. We lock the door now.

Day 2 the Adventures of Wesie Man.

OK, so day 2 of what Wesie did while I was home on maternity leave. I decided to try to keep him busy by washing windows. We got out all the supplies to clean windows. We were doing fine and I was congradulating myself. The baby was in the sun on the floor. She was being good. I got a drink and all of a sudden Kelsey was screaming and Wesie was crying. He had stepped back and stepped on her. He was scared that he really hurt her. I don't think she was, she doesn't seem retarded or misshappened. Poor boy, it took me a while to calm him down.

Wesie, Wesie, WESIE!!

I have to post this in parts because it is so so long. It is the recap of the last month and Wesie's adventures. Otherwise called,

I AM A BAD MOM.

The first day Kelsey was home from the hospital, my darling boy was in the bathroom, I was feeding Kelsey, Kennedy was getting ready for school. Everyone has been there, a hectic Hump DAY morning. I heard this "snit, snit" noise. Low and behold, my boy was cutting his hair.!!!! He had two or three "baldy" looking spots in his head. He looked like he had scarlet feaver or a bad case of nerves. So So mad at myself and him. How long had those scissors been in my basket and now he picks to use them? Little did I know this would be the beginning of a long list of things he would do daily...

Sleep, part II

And he needs the sleep too. This is Scott crashed on the couch after working more than his share of overtime and all nighters to provide for our family and his addiction (roping)

Ahh! Sleep...

So I have not gotten much sleep since last Wednesday. Didn't know anyone could survive on 3-4 hours each night that long.

You would think that it is becasue of the baby, but not really! Scott has been working nights off and on this last week. I just don't sleep well if he isn't here. Dumb, huh?! ;) Well, knowing that I have become meaner and meaner ("Your a Meaner", ...can anyone name that movie?); I decided to make myself go to bed by 9. The baby got up at 11:30 and 1:30 AND THEN!!!... 6:30 this morning. I slept soooo good. Except, I had a crazy dream about trying to come up with a middle name for a baby named Rebel while I was in Las Vegas. (weird huh)

New Beginnings, Good time to reflect.

We have a new baby. Her name is Kelsey Scout.I had to get that in, You know from To Kill a Mockingbird... So for the last few days I have not had enough sleep and it is showing. It seems like everyone is doing things to drive me crazy. I know this is lack of sleep talking, but I want to walk away.... Oh, well, I just keep thinking just until May and it will be so much better!